Day Before the Dig - My Thoughts

Tomorrow is the big day!  Tomorrow is dig day.  A day that we have planned for and waited for and talked about and dreamed about for about 10 years.  Granted, those first 8 years, thoughts of the new house were more in the background but, as I have said before, we always said that we would live in this house 10 years and then move into our country home.  When we said that we had no idea we would be blessed with 5 children nor did we think that God would be calling more children into our hearts and home through adoption or fostering.  When we said 10 years, we only knew that we were country people at heart and a country property was something we wanted with space to move and breathe and play without eyes watching from every side.  I love how God takes those little dreams or little ideas and can turn them into something bigger and better and wilder than you ever imagined.  The last 2 years have been more focused on what this new house will look like and what God's purposes are for this house.  And as we have been thinking and planning and praying and talking, God has taken the dream of this house and is turning it into a reality for His glory and for His honor.  We know that God has big plans for our family and big plans for our hearts and this house is a vitally important step. 

This little place we call home now is a treasure to us, brought to us at just the right time for just the right price.  It was almost exactly what we would have picked for ourselves as a young married couple had we the chance to design the home ourselves.  We love this place.  It will always hold so many memories of love and tears, conversations, the births of all our children, schooling them, teaching them just as they teach us, growing in our marriage and listening to all the things the Lord has taught us and the Lord is continuing to teach us.  This house is a treasure.  But this house is too small.  As long as we live in this house, our 3 year-old will continue to sleep on a crib mattress on the floor and all 3 girls will share a 9x9 bedroom.  The "laundry room" is also the mechanical room and also the "craft room" and is a constant disaster.  Storage space is seriously lacking . . . well, I could go on.  This house was never designed for 7 people.  But we are thankful.  We are so thankful.  We have a home with a roof over our heads, we have beds for our children, we have a washer & dryer and everything else we need to live a rich and full life.  We are beyond blessed and rarely will you hear us complain about our home.  We love it!  But this home was given to us for a season and that season is coming to an end. 

Tomorrow starts the beginning of a new season in our life.  A new chapter is this book we are writing.  Tomorrow the excavator arrives on site and starts digging the hole for the basement.  And tomorrow the hopes and dreams for this new season start to become reality.  I cannot help but wonder how it will go.  How will I be during this season?  Who will I be?  I wonder - will things get chaotic?  I wonder - will we be stressed beyond what we can imagine?  I wonder - how will Jay and I interact with each other over all the details that make a house a reality?  How will each day work itself out practically?  At the end of the building season, will we still be having fun or will we be so tired of the house and of each other?  While there are many questions that remain and will only be answered over the course of the next number of months, of this I am certain - the Lord will walk with us through this time just as He has been so faithfully walking with us these past 10 years in this home and all the years before that.  He has not brought us to this point on this path just to abandon us to our own devices.  He will walk with us every step of the way and when we are challenged and when we are stressed and when we don't know what to do, He will be there providing strength and wisdom and maybe an occasional rain day just so we can rest.  I know that life will be a little messy and unpredictable and schedules will go out the window, but I have this picture in my mind that, in time, I will be standing in a completely gorgeous kitchen crying, overwhelmed by the gracious generosity of an amazing Father who has blessed us with more than we deserve and even more than we imagined.  Just as when we were planning our wedding almost 13 years ago, we will go through this building process the way we try to go through every day, with the intention of honoring God and all those around us with our words and our attitudes so that at the end, we will not regret saying anything or doing anything, knowing God is pleased with our hearts. 

Later on today, Jay and I will spend time in prayer at the building site, dedicating the next days and weeks and months to the Lord, asking for His hand of blessing yet again.  I feel that this is a time when He is asking me, "What do you want Me to do for you?".  I feel humbled and honored that the Lord would use me, use Jay and I, to do a work only He can accomplish.  So, now that we are a little less than 24 hours away from actually starting to build, focus is hard to find.  The boys still have school work to finish, the laundry still needs to be washed, food still needs to be made and life continues on.  I would like to spend all my time at the site, thinking and praying and dreaming and watching God's hand at work.  And yet, He is still at work here in my heart right now, still trying to refine me into the woman He wants me to be, the mother He wants me to be, the teacher He wants me to be, the wife He wants me to be.  I have so far to go in my walk with Him, so much more to learn and I am beyond grateful that He never leaves me even when I mess up.  Though my intention is to honor Him with all my words and actions, I have far to go in perfecting that.  And still, in my brokenness, the Lord uses me.  I know that we will look back on this time and marvel at all we accomplished because of the Lord.  All because of Him.  So, I invite you along for the journey.  I invite you to watch as the Lord moves in marvelous ways to help us build this dream.  I will document as much as I can, not so much for your benefit, but for ours.  So we can look back on this time and remember every detail along the way, every way in which God provided again and again and again.  With that said, let the building begin!

Blessings

Do you ever wonder if you are blessed?  Maybe another way to look at it is this: have you been given gifts, undeserved and unmerited?  Every time (well, okay, maybe not EVERY single time but you know what I mean) I look at my children or my husband, that is exactly how I feel.  Overwhelming blessings!  I am rich, very rich indeed!  These past few weeks have been crazy busy with harvest, taking kids and meals to the field and often getting the kids into bed before Jay comes home.  And just as the harvest has been plentiful, in spite of the extreme dry conditions, so have the blessings!  I wanted to share 2 with you! A couple of years ago my dad was part of the construction crew that did a huge addition on a nearby church.  In order to do this reno, they removed all the outer bricks on that area of the church.  No one wanted them so dad took them home.  For what purpose, we still don't know but that is his deal!  Now, that church is expanding again and my dad is part of that construction crew once again.  As soon as I knew he would be doing it, months before they even started, I told him I wanted those bricks.  I would come and collect them myself but I wanted those bricks.  One day a couple of weeks ago my dad calls and asks if I still want them.  Yes, I certainly do.  Then find a hard hat and a couple of pick up trucks and come get them.  So, Jay and I stopped everything, drove 1/2 hour to get a few bricks.  They were heavy and the trucks can only hold so much.  Just as we were putting the last bricks in the second truck, my dad comes over and tells us the head-honcho guy said we could use a trailer they had with electric lift to take the bricks home.  Since Jay was supposed to be on the field, he went back the next day and got 2 trailer loads of bricks.  Mind you, they were so heavy the electric lift didn't work until he had thrown 90% of them off but he was gracious about it all.  So, now we have this huge pile of bricks waiting for some great purpose on our new house.  I am thinking pillars for the porch and landscaping around the back patio.  What ideas do you have?

Secondly,  I don't know if you remember but the back part of our new 5 acre property is a swamp!   About a dozen ducks and other marsh birds make their home there in the spring and well into summer.  The rushes tower over my head and the whole area is mosquito haven.  I am sure we have mosquitos out there long before anyone else does.  This year, due to the extreme dry and high temperatures, all the water was gone by about the middle of July (which should be an indication of how wet it actually was to take that long).  We took the time to laser measure the whole yard, finding out just how high the high spots were and how low the low spots were.  We knew we would have to bring in many, many truckloads of dirt to raise the low-lying areas.  We talked endlessly about ways to deal with the water.  Then, early this week, Jay tells me this: "Your father-in-law is doing an amazing job of filling the hole."  I assume he is talking about the mini-Grand Canyon that now exists at his barn thanks to all the clay required to fix the lagoon (and a bunch brought to our place to build the new driveway.).  He corrects me by telling me dad is raising the low spots on our yard.  WOW!!  As a farmer, every fall, after harvest, they dig the drainage ditches and other ditches to ensure water flows well after spring thaw.  He doesn't want that soil on his field since it is a clay-soil mix with a whole lot of sod and weeds in it.  My FIL is a very particular (and excellent) farmer.  So, all that soil is ending up filling up our swamp!  And it is a TONNE of dirt.  Free dirt.  Can I get a "Thank you, Jesus?" and I really mean that!  I am in awe of the way the Lord provides. 

Since the beginning, the Lord has been telling me that this yard is a gift to us.  It is not for everyone, it is a gift to US.  This yard was specially chosen for us in spite of all the quirks.  The Lord, in his infinite grace and generousity, continues to affirm to me that this is a gift.  And he continues to provide for this gift.  What a great and awesome God I serve!

New (Feathered) Neighbours

A little more than 2 years ago, I built a couple of birdhouses out of recycled barn board rescued from an old hip-roofed barn at my in-law's place. For 2 years those houses have sat empty and I wondered if they would ever be occupied. This past winter, for the first time in the 8 1/2 years of living here, I saw Black-Capped Chickadees on our yard! I think they have been absent this long since this is a newer development and the trees are still small and few (well, we are trying hard to remedy that on our yard). So, imagine my complete surprise when I saw these friendly little feathered friends entering and exiting my birdhouse with tufts of grass! The neighbours have finally moved in! It has been fun to watch them and talk about them as we were studying birds in the "first semester" this year. The classroom has now entered the outdoors and it makes learning that much more fun! I will be sure to document the nest building, egg laying, hatching and growing of the newest members of our neighbourhood, to the delight of the kids and myself!

According to my limited research, the female is responsible for the building of the nest and does it alone. However, watching the two chickadees coming and going, I can assure you that the male is doing his part to ensure a nice house for his wife! Yes, I say wife, because the kids refer to them as being married! What an absolute delight to watch creation as orchestrated by the Lord! There is little else that speaks to me the way nature can. I will unashamedly sit for hours on end (if allowed!) and watch the birds flit to and fro and be completely mesmerized the whole time! I am so thankful the Lord made birds, big and small!

The Truest Education

A sweet friend sent me this quote from a blog written by Ann Voskamp, the author of the book we are using for geography this year. I have stopped by her blog every now and again and she is filled with a knowledge and understanding of things way beyond her years! You can check out her blog at A Holy Experience.

Today, as every Monday, she is talking about encouraging gifts of thankfulness, teaching gratitude to our children and learning it ourselves. It really is a skill that is in short supply but so easily taught, so easily benefitted from, in various ways. The part that stuck out to me the most was this:

"Because what will the math really matter if they are bitter? If the house is immaculate — but my attitude a mess? If they can count — but they don’t know how to count all things as joy? If we get the lists done, but have lost happiness in Him? How can any grammar skill outweigh the fact they don’t know the language of grace and thanks? What good will it be if they can recite all the major British battles — but they don’t know to see beauty? What am I teaching our children if I’m not living simply, quietly this: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8). Focusing on what is beautiful, good, true –isn’t this the truest education?"

Wow! The utter power of a grateful heart. I am blessed with the opportunity to share with my children a grateful heart throughout the day (and, I confess, I fail more often than not). We can, and do, stop the academics to work on the attitude of the heart. I would much rather my child grow up to be kind and compassionate, grateful and gentle, willing to be a servant and a leader than to have them excel at all things academic and fail at all matters of the heart. I know, one is not exclusive to the other. I realize that gratitude (and all those other Godly characteristics) can be taught whether your children are in public school or not. I am just more acutely aware of the responsibility placed on me as their whole education rests in my hands. I must be sure to emphasize that which is best, not only that which is good. What a great reminder for me in my homeschooling journey.

To read the full post Ann wrote, you can find it here.

Choosing That Which is Best

Every day a time comes when the kids are all tucked in bed, all the many hugs and kisses are handed out (and then handed out again), the doors are quietly closed and I look forward to "me" time (or to the laundry or the many other things on the "to-do" list to accomplish though, truthfully, I usually just plop onto the couch with a big sigh and wish I could do nothing!). Every once in a while, little Ali asks me to snuggle as I give those hugs and kisses. I usually pause, think of all the things I have yet to do and the very short time to do it in and I say "No. Not tonight, honey. I have to go do the laundry. Maybe tomorrow?" She looks disappointed, starts to cry and I give in. "Okay. But only for a little bit." She smiles as I snuggle in, wrap my arms around her and stroke her hair and her cheeks. If I am lucky, she strokes my hair and gently caresses my cheek. Just a few minutes is all she needs and then I sneak out while she falls asleep. Then the next night it happens all over again. It has become part of our routine. But I am learning. I am learning what is good and what is better. What is good and what is best. Because does the laundry really matter to a 3 year old? She couldn't care less if her pants and shirts match or if they are even clean. What she does care about is if her mommy loves her and to her that means quality time and lots of it. It means a couple minutes of snuggling at the end of the day. She is not here tonight. All the kids are sleeping at Grandma's since we had a late night with a few dear friends, our care group. And I miss her stroking my hair, I miss snuggling with her. I miss her sweet dimpled smile as she snuggles into the pillow, sneaking looks at me every once in a while. I miss that little lady. The Lord is teaching me what is good and what is best and you know what? I don't say, "Maybe tomorrow" anymore. I just crawl in her bed, wrap my arms around her and love that little lady. I am hoping that as she receives love from Jesus through the arms of her mom in those moments of quiet that it will seep into her soul and give her confidence. Give her courage. Give her security in knowing Jesus loves her. She keeps asking, "Does Jesus love me?" Oh, yes, my little lady, he sure does. So much more than I ever could.

Here's Wishing You a Christmas Filled With Love!

Every year Jason has the privilege of writing our Christmas letter. Here is the 2010 version! I hope you enjoy!

Christmas greetings to you all. As you celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus we hope and pray that you would also all experience the peace, joy and salvation that the grown man Jesus made possible. As I reflect on this past year and wonder about how to share our lives in one short letter I was taken back to last year’s letter and realized that, in spite of the demanding pace of life and the notion that we are all still about the same, much has, in fact, changed. It is very good to stop and think about what has been going on in my life and so this letter is likely far less for you than for me as it becomes an exercise in reflection and to show me how faithful God has been and how grateful I have reason to be. However, we have sent you this because we love you and want to share our lives with you, just as we hope to be able to share in your lives.


Arileigh – Nearly 2 now this whirlwind of a child has lived up to all my fears of being the busiest of the bunch. While I was voraciously anticipating the day that our youngest would be independent enough not to need Chantelle or myself for her every need, now that that has begun to happen I question the cruel irony of my circumstances. What I found as we closed the door of infant dependency was a much more daunting door opening in front of us. The constant infant dependence has been replaced with the constant toddler independence. Even in the time it has taken to write this paragraph I have needed to stop and remove pencil crayons from the one writing on the couch, clean up brown sugar, pancake mix and cheese whiz from the one who had removed it from the cupboard and fridge and was preparing to mix it all in the living, and remove a pen from the hand of the one who was poking another in the face with it. And all of this from the same whirlwind of a child! She has also shown a great aptitude for “talking”, the quantity of which can only be rivaled by her mother! Despite the dizzying challenges we encounter, we cannot imagine life without her and imagine that all this energy will likely benefit her in her newly found TV commercial stardom.

Aliyah – Psalm 56:8 is translated in the New Living Translation as “You (God) have collected all my tears in your bottle”. We believe God actually has a bathtub for Aliyah. She is definitely our most sensitive child crying for reasons from great injustices to just because the sun rose. Besides crying she enjoys babies, books and just sitting around and snuggling. During home school hours Aliyah feels it is just as important that she be doing school as well and can be found deep in thought in her preschool workbook. When the tears do dry for a while and a smile erupts on her face, what a beautiful little 3 year old girl she is, trying so hard to be and do all that her big sister is and does.

RhÉanna – Our fearless leader continues to amaze us in her outgoingness and willingness to try just about anything. Although only 4 she was insistent that it was time for her to start school and is now excelling at kindergarten. She is almost always the first one done her schoolwork and is usually disappointed that there isn’t more for her to do. Although we have tried, somehow she has not received the memo that she is not in charge. We have caught she several times telling her siblings what sort of punishment they will receive for the wrong things she has caught them doing including telling them to go to their room. This doesn’t go over well with the younger siblings, never mind her 2 older brothers who receive this corrective action with about as much enthusiasm as a mosquito bite. No doubt though, the highlight of our year with Rheanna is that this year she made Jesus her forever friend! Just as with the boys, we are thrilled that she has understood His love for her and her need for His help in all she does. We anticipate greatly the things God can do through her.

Adlai – At 6, Adlai has now gotten over the novelty of school and has begun to show his true colors. His comedic and restless character pulls him away from the table any time he can get away with it, and you can find him much more likely building Lego, drawing pictures or just making his brother and sisters laugh. While school may not be the highlight of his day he is certainly showing that he has a great mind for math. Time and time again, this creative boy can be found playing alone creating some great masterpiece out of Lego (then leaving said Lego lying around his room!).

Payton – Our 7 year old gentle giant continues to live up to the firstborn stereotype of being cautious, responsible and a great caregiver. His outstanding ability to read, matched by his remarkable memory leaves him spouting out facts both useful and useless that make me wonder if he was smaller for his age and was in the public school if he would get beat up a lot. As this is not the case, my questions turn inward as I ponder how long it will take him to figure out he is smarter than his dad. His heart is a generous one and often piles of seemingly useless recyclables end up in his bed as he creates treasures out of trash for those he loves. His desire to help in any and all areas has made him quite proficient in the kitchen – he is already making Macaroni and Cheese and Quick Cheese Biscuits with little to no help from mom!

Chantelle – continues to have far more interests than any human can possibly participate in. However, having not yet come to the realization that she is human, she continues to teach, work, and create, in ways that make Martha Stewart appear to be incompetent. I also introduced her to the chainsaw this year (Lord only knows why!), which she handled very well and can now add to her nearly exhaustive list of skills. She continues to home school the kids and does a remarkable job at it although she finds it much more challenging than it may appear to be at the surface. (This may in fact be the thing that breaks her and reveals her humanness) All kidding aside, she certainly feels that the Holy Spirit is using this endeavor to develop a deep character inside of her. Somewhat related to home schooling (so I thought), I heard her say to me that she had successfully gotten through the year without shooting a kid. I told her that was fantastic and I was glad she hadn’t shot a kid either. She gave me that “you’re an idiot look” and repeated what she had actually said “I have successfully gotten through a year without sugar.” Looking back that did make more sense to me and goes along well with the idea that she may not be human after all.


Jason – as for me, it is now been 13 days since I began this family newsletter. I had great hopes of FINALLY getting one of these out before Christmas. Perhaps I should stop setting such ambitions goals. Between work, church, and home, my life is looking more and more like a hamster wheel. That probably explains the shredded up paper lying all over the floor. Now if someone would please come and clean up the turds that we seem to find from time to time that would be great! On a completely different note, after nearly 12 years I am transitioning out of the hog barns and back into the grain farm. It is a slow and ambiguous evolution that leaves me wondering am I really switching directions or will I just be left with 2 full-time jobs. I guess I’m not a real farmer anyway until I am working 80 hours a week. We did, however, manage to get away for a wonderful week with family this summer in Minneapolis. We had such a good time I am already planning our vacation for next decade whether we need it or not.

Kids Say the Funniest Things:

Adlai: “Marshmallows won’t kill you.”

While Payton & Adlai were playing chess, Payton told Chantelle, “I got Adlai’s queen but Adlai got all mad so I gave it back.”

Rhéanna: “When am I going to grow up?”

Payton: “Can someone turn off the angel? It’s making me have bad looks in my eye balls.”

More Memorable Moments:

• Payton had surgery for T-tubes…again


• Adlai has a new found need for glasses


• In classic Rhéanna style she learned to ride her bike much younger than the boys did


• Arileigh learned to walk way back in March


• We spent many hours in the country cutting down trees and pushing over buildings and making wiener roasts


• Payton learned to mow the lawn

If you have ever wondered what Chantelle and I do with ALL our free time here is a statistical snapshot of a few of the major things.

15330 – items of clothing washed in one year

28470 – number of plates, utensils, etc washed in one year

3285 – number of diapers changed in a year (last year’s stat)

22 – the number of children Rhéanna thinks we should have

1/2 - the amount of food that makes it into Arileigh’s mouth

1/2 - the amount of food that ends up on the floor under Arileigh

1095 – the number of times in a year that the dining room floor needs to get swept

3650 – number of toys that get cleaned up in a year

32850 – number of toys or toy pieces that would be cleaned up in a year if they were cleaned up each day

365 – number of days in a year that Jason ponders throwing all the toys away.

600 – number of liters of milk we buy in a year

365ish – number of days in a year we feel incredibly blessed by the life and family the Lord has entrusted to us :)

Compassion

Compassion, by definition, means a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering. Some people are more naturally compassionate than others. Some people just really couldn't care less. Can you teach compassion? I would hope that as I demonstrate compassion I am, by default, teaching the kids what compassion looks like and sounds like. This morning we had a little incident and I was overwhelmed by the compassion exhibited by the youngest and oldest of the kids. Recently, Pepe has been giving piggy back rides to all his siblings. He may be only 7 but he is just shy of 75lbs. To put it in context, I was a mere 88lbs in Grade 9. Pepe is in Grade 2. He is a big boy. A very strong boy. His much smaller brother is only 43lbs. So, piggy back rides are easy for Pepe to give to his much lighter siblings. When he is feeling left out, Pepe comes to us for his rides. Anyhow, the girls must have figured that they could give rides to each other. Ali attempted to carry RJ on her shoulders. I was washing dishes and could see them in plain sight. I caught what they were doing out of the corner of my eye and before I could tell them to stop, they both came crashing down. RJ smashed her head on the frame of the couch and actually gashed the back of her head. Ali smashed her elbow on the hard wood floor. So, there I was holding two screaming and crying girls, trying to console them and calm them down. Baby girl Ari comes over and pats, rubs and shushes away, trying to help in the consolation. I don't know if it is her natural instinct or if she is just imitating what she has seen from me but she does it frequently. If someone is crying, she immediately goes up to them and hugs, pats, rubs and shushes. Pepe went above and beyond that, bringing me a cloth to clean up the blood, finding an ice pack, getting RJ a pillow and blanket so she could lie down on the couch, asking her repeatedly if there was anything else he could do for her and just being greatly concerned and very, very compassionate. My heart is so very proud when I see such Christ-like actions coming from two very little people (well, by 'little' I mean young as I already established earlier that Pepe is most certainly not little!). I do a lot of criticizing of myself and my mothering attempts or despairing over my unChrist like actions towards the kids or Jay. When I see moments like what happened this morning, I think it is God's way of showing me that, though I may have moments of wrong, I am on the right path. The kids are watching and imitating and if that is the case then Christ is obviously at work in me just as he is at work in them.

He Can Hear!

Earlier in May I had asked for prayer for Pepe because he was supposed to go in for t-tube surgery. Well, we took him in that day, went through the whole 2 hour pre-op routine only to find out from the anesthetist that his lungs were too congested and she would not administer the anesthesia. It wasn't a complete waste of time as Pepe was allowed to play some video games while waiting.

That was a treat for him and something to look forward to upon his return. So, we went home and were given a later date of July 21 for his surgery. Last week I received a call from the doctor that she had an opening on Thursday, June 3. We could have that date so long as Pepe saw our family doctor first to check out his lungs and make sure it was all good. We went, we saw, and we got the go-ahead. So, on Thursday, back into the city we went and Pepe was able to have the surgery. He made sure Dr. Spot, his Build-A-Bear, came with him to keep him company!

As I had mentioned earlier, he has had this surgery before 2 years ago and the experience was a hard one for him. This time, what a difference! He confidently answered all the questions he was asked, he willingly walked to the pre-op waiting room and he willingly walked towards the surgical doors-of-no-return. That is when he started to panic. He grabbed for me and pushed me ahead of him. However, when those doors opened, lo and behold, there on the other side, were 2 shiny battery-operated cars waiting for him. He could choose to drive either a bright red convertible Corvette or a powerful black Hummer. His eyes lit up, he almost smiled and made his choice - the Corvette. We watched as he learned to drive, smashing into the Hummer twice, but away he went. No tears. No fear. Just confidently driving away. A short while later, he was awake and waiting for us in recovery. Once again, no tears, no anxiety, just a calm smiling boy waiting for us. What a remarkable difference!

He was speedily wheeled down the hall in his bed to another recovery room where he enjoyed some TV (which he doesn't get at home), an orange popsicle and some 7-Up.

An hour later we were out of there with a boy that said everything was too loud! What a relief! I could whisper to him many loving things and he could hear every single one! We are hoping that this is the last time he will have to go through this surgery, that this will be the time everything returns to normal. In the meantime, we are so thankful he can hear properly once again and that the experience was a good one. A redeeming one. The overwhelming feeling I had was a sense of peace through this all. Like I said, I know this is routine, but for us, it is a bit of a stresser and we were so thankful for those of you that prayed. We certainly experienced the peace of the Lord envelop us!