Every day a time comes when the kids are all tucked in bed, all the many hugs and kisses are handed out (and then handed out again), the doors are quietly closed and I look forward to "me" time (or to the laundry or the many other things on the "to-do" list to accomplish though, truthfully, I usually just plop onto the couch with a big sigh and wish I could do nothing!). Every once in a while, little Ali asks me to snuggle as I give those hugs and kisses. I usually pause, think of all the things I have yet to do and the very short time to do it in and I say "No. Not tonight, honey. I have to go do the laundry. Maybe tomorrow?" She looks disappointed, starts to cry and I give in. "Okay. But only for a little bit." She smiles as I snuggle in, wrap my arms around her and stroke her hair and her cheeks. If I am lucky, she strokes my hair and gently caresses my cheek. Just a few minutes is all she needs and then I sneak out while she falls asleep. Then the next night it happens all over again. It has become part of our routine. But I am learning. I am learning what is good and what is better. What is good and what is best. Because does the laundry really matter to a 3 year old? She couldn't care less if her pants and shirts match or if they are even clean. What she does care about is if her mommy loves her and to her that means quality time and lots of it. It means a couple minutes of snuggling at the end of the day. She is not here tonight. All the kids are sleeping at Grandma's since we had a late night with a few dear friends, our care group. And I miss her stroking my hair, I miss snuggling with her. I miss her sweet dimpled smile as she snuggles into the pillow, sneaking looks at me every once in a while. I miss that little lady. The Lord is teaching me what is good and what is best and you know what? I don't say, "Maybe tomorrow" anymore. I just crawl in her bed, wrap my arms around her and love that little lady. I am hoping that as she receives love from Jesus through the arms of her mom in those moments of quiet that it will seep into her soul and give her confidence. Give her courage. Give her security in knowing Jesus loves her. She keeps asking, "Does Jesus love me?" Oh, yes, my little lady, he sure does. So much more than I ever could.
Angels Among Us
3 years ago