Monday, May 21, 2012

Day Before the Dig - My Thoughts

Tomorrow is the big day!  Tomorrow is dig day.  A day that we have planned for and waited for and talked about and dreamed about for about 10 years.  Granted, those first 8 years, thoughts of the new house were more in the background but, as I have said before, we always said that we would live in this house 10 years and then move into our country home.  When we said that we had no idea we would be blessed with 5 children nor did we think that God would be calling more children into our hearts and home through adoption or fostering.  When we said 10 years, we only knew that we were country people at heart and a country property was something we wanted with space to move and breathe and play without eyes watching from every side.  I love how God takes those little dreams or little ideas and can turn them into something bigger and better and wilder than you ever imagined.  The last 2 years have been more focused on what this new house will look like and what God's purposes are for this house.  And as we have been thinking and planning and praying and talking, God has taken the dream of this house and is turning it into a reality for His glory and for His honor.  We know that God has big plans for our family and big plans for our hearts and this house is a vitally important step. 

This little place we call home now is a treasure to us, brought to us at just the right time for just the right price.  It was almost exactly what we would have picked for ourselves as a young married couple had we the chance to design the home ourselves.  We love this place.  It will always hold so many memories of love and tears, conversations, the births of all our children, schooling them, teaching them just as they teach us, growing in our marriage and listening to all the things the Lord has taught us and the Lord is continuing to teach us.  This house is a treasure.  But this house is too small.  As long as we live in this house, our 3 year-old will continue to sleep on a crib mattress on the floor and all 3 girls will share a 9x9 bedroom.  The "laundry room" is also the mechanical room and also the "craft room" and is a constant disaster.  Storage space is seriously lacking . . . well, I could go on.  This house was never designed for 7 people.  But we are thankful.  We are so thankful.  We have a home with a roof over our heads, we have beds for our children, we have a washer & dryer and everything else we need to live a rich and full life.  We are beyond blessed and rarely will you hear us complain about our home.  We love it!  But this home was given to us for a season and that season is coming to an end. 

Tomorrow starts the beginning of a new season in our life.  A new chapter is this book we are writing.  Tomorrow the excavator arrives on site and starts digging the hole for the basement.  And tomorrow the hopes and dreams for this new season start to become reality.  I cannot help but wonder how it will go.  How will I be during this season?  Who will I be?  I wonder - will things get chaotic?  I wonder - will we be stressed beyond what we can imagine?  I wonder - how will Jay and I interact with each other over all the details that make a house a reality?  How will each day work itself out practically?  At the end of the building season, will we still be having fun or will we be so tired of the house and of each other?  While there are many questions that remain and will only be answered over the course of the next number of months, of this I am certain - the Lord will walk with us through this time just as He has been so faithfully walking with us these past 10 years in this home and all the years before that.  He has not brought us to this point on this path just to abandon us to our own devices.  He will walk with us every step of the way and when we are challenged and when we are stressed and when we don't know what to do, He will be there providing strength and wisdom and maybe an occasional rain day just so we can rest.  I know that life will be a little messy and unpredictable and schedules will go out the window, but I have this picture in my mind that, in time, I will be standing in a completely gorgeous kitchen crying, overwhelmed by the gracious generosity of an amazing Father who has blessed us with more than we deserve and even more than we imagined.  Just as when we were planning our wedding almost 13 years ago, we will go through this building process the way we try to go through every day, with the intention of honoring God and all those around us with our words and our attitudes so that at the end, we will not regret saying anything or doing anything, knowing God is pleased with our hearts. 

Later on today, Jay and I will spend time in prayer at the building site, dedicating the next days and weeks and months to the Lord, asking for His hand of blessing yet again.  I feel that this is a time when He is asking me, "What do you want Me to do for you?".  I feel humbled and honored that the Lord would use me, use Jay and I, to do a work only He can accomplish.  So, now that we are a little less than 24 hours away from actually starting to build, focus is hard to find.  The boys still have school work to finish, the laundry still needs to be washed, food still needs to be made and life continues on.  I would like to spend all my time at the site, thinking and praying and dreaming and watching God's hand at work.  And yet, He is still at work here in my heart right now, still trying to refine me into the woman He wants me to be, the mother He wants me to be, the teacher He wants me to be, the wife He wants me to be.  I have so far to go in my walk with Him, so much more to learn and I am beyond grateful that He never leaves me even when I mess up.  Though my intention is to honor Him with all my words and actions, I have far to go in perfecting that.  And still, in my brokenness, the Lord uses me.  I know that we will look back on this time and marvel at all we accomplished because of the Lord.  All because of Him.  So, I invite you along for the journey.  I invite you to watch as the Lord moves in marvelous ways to help us build this dream.  I will document as much as I can, not so much for your benefit, but for ours.  So we can look back on this time and remember every detail along the way, every way in which God provided again and again and again.  With that said, let the building begin!


  1. Today I've been thinking about the word "wait" and what it means to wait. You have waited faithfully and actively, which is good because waiting isn't passive but it does require a great deal of trust and faith.

    A new word I love is the word "liminal." It's the in-between - when you leave one room and haven't yet entered the next room of the house you're in a liminal space. And in that liminal space, it feels like anything is possible. We'll be praying with you as the building process continues beyond the dreams and plans and into the physical substance of a place you can see and eventually live in.

    I'm sure there will be chaos - there always is, in the liminal space. But as you wait - and move forward making decisions along the way - may you continue to sense the Lord's presence and provision and continue giving Him glory.

  2. All the best as you get started! I can't wait to see what it looks like, and how God will work in you and through you as you follow Him in this exciting new way!


Related Posts with Thumbnails