Monday, January 14, 2013

"Mommy, I Need You"

My little baby girl is almost 4 years old.  But for another month, she is still 3.  A fully toilet-trained 3-year old that still needs a little help cleaning up herself after having used the toilet.  In this house we currently live in, I have tried to teach her to use the upstairs bathroom so that I don't have to run downstairs to help her.  Doesn't always happen but this house is small enough that I can hear her no matter which bathroom she uses. 

Not quite the same story at the new house.  At the new house, we have only one toilet working right now.  It is upstairs in the kid's bathroom.  It is in the second half of the kid's bathroom so it is behind 2 closed doors.  Most of the work we are doing right now is happening on the main floor of the house.  But this new house is much bigger than the old house and her voice is much quieter behind 2 closed doors and up a long flight of stairs and down a hall.  I don't always hear her when she calls.  But what has surprised me more than anything is how she refuses to ask her daddy for help.  I find it amusing some of the time, annoying other times and downright confusing the rest of the time.

Before we had the toilet installed in the new house, we had to use the toilet in the house trailer.  That caused a huge problem because there was no way I could hear her calling from inside a completely different building.  She learned to tell me she needed to use the bathroom so I could go with her.  However, there were numerous occasions when she didn't tell me she had to use the washroom and so her siblings would come tell me she was calling for me so I would arrive to help her, often finding her in tears.  I would apologize profusely and hold her close, assuring her I loved her, even if I didn't come right away.

One day I was cutting stone with the wet tile saw.  It makes a lot of noise so I was wearing ear protection.  I have a hard enough time hearing the kids right next to me when I am using noisy tools, never mind the one calling from the upstairs bathroom behind 2 closed doors.  And the whole time I was working on the stone, Jay was working in the laundry room doing some quiet thing.  Ari knew all this.  She knew what we were doing and where we were working but she still insisted on calling for me.  Eventually Pepe, my 9-year old, told me that Ari had been calling "for like 5 minutes already".  Oh, did I feel bad.  I asked Jay to go help her and, of course, she was crying that I never came.  She felt abandoned.  And I felt incompetent, like I had failed her.  I was certainly annoyed that time. 

This past week I had to leave the house to go get something - I was gone for probably 5 minutes or a little more.  As soon as I walk back in the house, I hear Ari calling for my help.   I was completely bewildered.  I wasn't even in the house and she was calling for me.  She didn't once think I wasn't going to come.  She didn't once consider calling her daddy.  She just kept calling and calling, even though I wasn't even in the house.  Jay was in the kitchen, working quietly.  I was mostly bewildered that time with a bit of amusement and annoyance thrown in.  It really spoke to my heart - this little girl NEEDS her mom.  Her dad won't do.  Her sisters or brothers won't do.  Only her mom can fulfill that place in her heart.  She needs help, she calls her mom, no questions asked.  And, in her mind, her mom always comes, no matter if her mom is at the top of the ladder wearing eye and ear protection nailing together a coffered ceiling while her dad is in the room next to her - no matter if her mom isn't even in the area - her mom always comes.  I let her down frequently.  I don't always hear her.  She has cried many tears because I don't always come immediately.  How it does my heart good to know that she still calls for me, even after failing her so often.

But is it also a fantastic reminder that I can always call on my Heavenly Father and he always hears.  His ears are never covered.  The noise around him is not so great that he cannot hear me.  My cries are never too faint for him to hear.  He never steps out of the house or out of my life.  He always hears when I call and comes immediately. 

Psalm 18:6 says 

"But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears."

Throughout this building process, many trials have come our way.  Things have been hard.  Roadblocks have been thrown in our path.  More so lately it seems that it takes more from us to finish this work, finish this house.  But I am so thankful that through it all, no matter where we are or what happens, no matter how loud the noise is around us, we can call on our Father to help us and he always hears our cries.  He always comes and helps us, no matter what.  And that is a promise I will hold firm to as we continue on this journey.  And maybe, just maybe, Ari will remember that she can call on her daddy for help, too!

1 comment:

  1. So beautiful. And though you've missed her cries on occasion, there have been so many many more that you've lovingly, immediately responded to. Your kids have a great mom :).


Related Posts with Thumbnails