What Causes an 8 Year-Old Boy to Mature

Our eldest child and eldest son has always been the most apprehensive of all of our children.  He has always been hesitant to try anything new, to talk to anyone he doesn't know or to go anywhere he hasn't been before.  I don't like using labels but most would call him shy.  Very shy.  And I am okay with that.  For the most part.  I love watching how he thinks through things rather than just jumping right in.  His apprehension can be a very good thing - he would never willingly wander off with a stranger like some of my other children would.  But it has really been a struggle to get him to grow past all the fears and apprehension.  I don't mind a thoughtful child or a hesitant child but a child full of fear about every and any situation is not a healthy child.  I have been praying for him to grow in confidence for a long time and I think the Lord has been using many health-related situations to cause him to grow and mature and gain confidence.  Over the last number of weeks I have taken him to many different appointments and it has cause me to think back on his life, short as it is, to all the experiences he has already had.  I think each of them has brought him to where he is today, growing in confidence.  When he was just an infant, less than 6 months old, there was some concern with his health, some wierd facial thing that would happen in conjunction with lack of breathing when he would nurse.  After expressing my concern to my doctor, we went through a series of tests with him to try to get that situation to repeat itself in the presence of trained doctors who then could discover what was going on.  He had a number of EEG's, where they wrapped him mummy-style, stuck all these electrodes to his head and got me to nurse him - or at least try to.  He was on a bed and was supposed to stay there so I had to hang my breast over his face and try to get him to drink while all these staff and cameras were watching.  A little nerve-wracking for me, terrible for him since he was so hungry and had cried so hard he usually fell asleep, and in the end, they didn't learn anything conclusive though they did say he had some "seizure activity" which, apparently, can be normal in some people and never present itself as a seizure.  Not fun for a first time mom, or any mom, for that matter. 

Just before he turned 2, he broke his leg in 2 places and needed to be in a cast.  That was a terrible situation.  We didn't realize he had broken it until he wouldn't put weight on his leg.  We then suspected a broken leg and x-rays confirmed it.  They put on a back-slab and wrapped his leg in a tensor band and sent us home, telling us we would need to go to the city sometime the  following week (this happened on a Saturday night) for a cast.  The next night, Sunday night, he screamed in pain for hours.  We called in to see what we could do and they suggested Tylenol and Advil.  If the pain persisted, we should bring him back in for some morphine.  He wouldn't quit screaming (and he was never a screaming/crying kind of kid unless something really bad happened).  He screamed the entire 15 minutes back to the emergency room but as soon as those doors opened to the hospital, he quite crying. This was in the middle of the night and the doctor was not happy to have been woken from her sleep.  The first thing she said was that he looked just fine.  Oh, I could have blown a gasket.  Like we had nothing better to do than to race to the emergency room with our 4 month-old and 23 month-old sons in the middle of the night.  The caring and understanding nurse pushed for the morphine and it is what he needed to be able to sleep that night.  Then we got a call on Monday saying we could take him back into the city 3 days later, on the Thursday, for a casting appointment.  That was completely unacceptable.  Because he was only in a backslab and a tensor band, anything touching his leg caused pain.  Sleeping was painful.  Everything was painful.  I told that lady I was not waiting until Thursday - something had to be done right away.  So, I took him back into the emergency room that day and she put on a cast that came over his knee, stating that when we went in on Thursday to the city hospital (these emergency room visits were in a completely different town in the opposite direction of the city) they would probably remove the cast and put on another one.  That was fine by me.  At least with the cast, his pain lessened.  They did remove that long cast and put on a shorter one that Thursday and then 4-5 weeks later it was removed all together, just days before his 2nd birthday.

When he was about 2 and starting to talk, I began to suspect he might have hearing issues.  His speech was so muddled, and as he grew he needed everything much louder in volume - the radio, the TV, even me talking to him.  He often needed things repeated and eventually started reading lips.  It was so inconsistent that I wasn't sure if he had hearing issues or just attention issues.  When he was 3 1/2, they did a preliminary hearing test where a sound is played in your ear and they wait for the echo to return.  That little test is supposed to print out a bell-curve on the testing machine.  Pepe's gave a straight line.  They didn't know what that meant and chalked it up to his cold.  We went back about 6 months later and the same thing happened.  At that point we were sent to the audiologist for the first time, about 5 years ago.  After about 1 year of numerous hearing tests, it was discovered he has chronic fluid build-up in his middle ear causing hearing loss.  This type of hearing loss can be sporadic as the fluid levels can rise and fall plus it most often will affect the lower registers and lower tones or an area where lots of sounds compete.  Exactly as we had noticed.  It came to the point where he wouldn't talk to his dad in the van because he had such a hard time hearing his dad - he only talked to me.  Surprisingly, he never had any ear infections.  Just days before his 5th birthday, he had t-tube surgery for the first time.  It was horrible.  He kicked and screamed and cried.  He wanted me there.  They tried to pick him up but he was so heavy they couldn't.  Once those big doors closed, he had no choice but to go with them, which he did.  When he woke up from the surgery, he was agitated and crying, wanting to be with me, practically crawling into my arms when he was supposed to stay in bed.  I had to walk with them leaning over the bed holding onto him while they wheeled him to the recovery area.  The results of the surgery were immediate and dramatic.  He could hear everything and it was so overwhelming, he cried most of the way home.  Toilets flushed too loudly.  Rocks bouncing on the van were too loud. His siblings were too much for him.  It was a very hard day.  But, he also discovered the sound of pop fizzing, which he had never heard before.  Eventually, the tubes came out, just as they are supposed to, but once they were out the hearing decreased.  He went back for his second t-tube surgery just a couple months after turning 7 and it was a much easier transition for him.  He even got to drive a large kids car into the surgery room!  Once again the hearing improved.  His latest audiology appointment, just last week, showed that the tubes are still in place but are beginning to make their way out, as they should.  It leaves us wondering what will happen when they come out - will he be able to hear without them or will we have to go back for surgery again?

Then, at the end of 2011 we took the kids to the dentist for the very first time.  I know, a long wait, but we were not sure who to go to that would be good with the kids and take all of them at the same time.  Some places would only take 2 kids per family per day.  We weren't about to make 3 trips.  Finally we found a pediatric dentist, recommended by a friend, and we love him.  The staff and doctor and environment are fantastic and the kids loved the experience.  All 7 of us were in one room with 2 dentist chairs and never once was there any irritation or harsh words said.  It was great!  But, with that appointment we discovered that Pepe had 2 cavities between his teeth due to overcrowding plus he needed to see an orthodontist to consult on the overcrowding and the apparent missing teeth.  We saw the orthodontist just a little after that and learned that Pepe already needed a retainer on the top to deal with the narrow jaw and large space between his front teeth and partial braces on the bottom to deal with teeth in very wrong spots.  So, that meant more appointments for him and more courage to be found.  But, with the first appointment, just the consultation, his little brother joined him to see where he was at.  Because his little brother is a bit more adventurous, he had no problem going by himself with the lady to get all sorts of photos taken of his teeth.  Not willing to be outdone by his brother, Pepe went by himself as well.  That was a HUGE step for him!  Since then, I have made him go into all his appointments by himself, unless they specifically ask for him.  HE still tells me he needs me to come with him but I know he can do it and so does he.  So, he does and with a good attitude to boot.  He needed to go back once to get the retainer and then again for the braces.  Plus, he had to return to the dentist twice to get the fillings dealt with, all without me by his side. 

When I look back on where he was to where he is now, he really has matured and grown in confidence like I never expected.  But I don't think it would have happened as clearly if he didn't have so many appointments to attend.  It really is neat to see how far he has come and I am thankful the Lord has used all this things to grow and develop him into someone growing in courage.  I am so proud of him but know he will continue to grow since the appointments aren't ending any time soon!

Kitchens on My Mind! {Your Opinions, Please!}

Earlier this week we received the working drawings for our country home and it only took 15 months!  Yikes!  Our patience was definitely running thin but we are very pleased at the design of the house even if it did take over a year to get it where we wanted it!  These are not engineer stamped plans yet but we have handed them to a contractor to get a really good estimate on the cost of building it. That way we can make any changes before the plan is stamped plus we will know if we can afford to do this with a contractor or if we will contract it ourselves.  We should be getting some of those numbers next week, which is really exciting and somewhat nerve-wracking!  So, to keep my mind busy with other things, I am thinking of kitchens.  And mudrooms.  And bathrooms.  But for the sake of this post, we will stick with kitchens.  Currently, this is the plan for our kitchen.  It is fairly large at 18 1/2' x 11' but it really is the heart of our home.  I hate having to kick the kids out of our kitchen because there is just no room for them when Jay and I are in it (and, yes, Jay is often in the kitchen.  He may not be a gourmet chef but he is an amazing helper and I am spoiled by his servant-heart!).  I love to have them help but it is just too crowded.  I would have been happy with an even bigger kitchen but really think a kitchen this large will be a blessing.

To the left of the kitchen is the living room, to the right (obviously) is a large walk-in pantry and facing the kitchen (which you don't see) is the dining room.

My dream kitchen is traditional all the way!  I am dreaming of white kitchen cabinets with a dark glaze on the exterior and dark cabinets on the island and the range hood! I am definitely having some sort of mantle-style range hood flanked by two windows (which look out over the backyard)!  Counter top material has not been decided on but we are shying away from granite since it is ridiculously expensive.  We will have the full refrigerator and the full freezer in the kitchen due to the size of our family.  I am so excited about that!  There will be bar stools at the peninsula as well as at the island but on the island, they will be on the outside of the kitchen, not the inside where they are pictured.  I am seriously contemplating building the kitchen cabinets myself to save us some money (plus I think it will be fun . . . well, until it is stressful!).  We won't have many upper cabinets but I am hoping all the lower cabinets will more than make up for it.  Plus the upper cabinets will be ceiling height.  Finally, there will be a prep sink on the island on the corner closest to the fridge/freezer.  Two sinks are a must!

So, with all that said, I would love to know a few things about your kitchens!  Tell me:

1.  What do you love about your kitchen the most?  Is it the size?  A certain feature?  The color?  The layout?  What makes you love your kitchen?

2.  What is one thing you wished you had in your kitchen but don't?  A certain appliance?  Windows?  A different faucet?  Different cabinets?

3.  What is a non-negotiable in your next kitchen, if you were building new like we are?  An island?  More storage?  A walk-in pantry?

I want your opinions and ideas to help me think through this thoroughly!  We intend to be in this house for a VERY long time so the better we can do it now, the happier our future will be!  Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you!

Life Lately

Oh, my goodness! It has been 1 1/2 months since I last wrote anything!  Life has been sooo busy!  The before-Christmas rush included the death of my grandmother and subsequent funeral.  It was rather sudden but not totally unexpected since she lived to the wonderful age of 96.  It was and is still very sad and I often have to remind myself that she is no longer around which seems really . . . weird.  Every Christmas, since . . . well, always, we have spent December 26th with my grandmother.  This was the first year we didn't.  I did make a trip out to her grave stone and said a little hello.  That day wouldn't have been the same if I hadn't.  But I rest in the knowledge that I will see her again when I, too, get to that glorious place called heaven where she now lives and worships her Savior.  It was always her desire to live with her Jesus and I am so glad she finally is.  It still doesn't make the tears any less, though.  And I don't think I can ever listen to "O Holy Night" again without crying - it was her favorite Christmas song.  We sang it to her the day she died and again at her funeral. 

I also spent many hours sewing Christmas gifts (on my grandmother's old machine, which made me think of her often) - aprons and doll clothes.  It was a lot of fun and is one of my favorite Christmas traditions - staying up late, trying to get the gifts done.

Jason's cousin and family moved from Tennessee to close by so we took some time to spend with them.  We love having them around and are enjoying getting to know them better.

We also met with a designer to help us with the design of our country home.  The draftsman we are using just wasn't able to fully understand what we wanted and needed but our designer?  She was awesome!  She listened to what we said and was able to incorporate what we wanted with what she knew we needed.  She was able to give out many ideas for us to think about and in the end, we LOVE the design of the house.  The plans are now at the draftsman again for him to make the technical drawings so we can finally have working blueprints to hand out for pricing.  We also sat down with a contractor and are going to see what it would cost for them to do the contracting and some of the major work, like the concrete, framing, electrical, etc.   Everyone is waiting for those blueprints so we are a little antsy since spring is going to come sooner than we think.  We still don't know if we are definitely building this year but we are sure hoping.  We will not make foolish financial decisions just to regret it later - if we need to wait another year, we will.  But, it has been our intention to build in 2012 so we will see what happens.

December is also the time of year that we take the kids to the optometrist and, for the first time ever, the dentist.  We went to a pediatric dentist and it was a fantastic experience.  We did discover that Pepe has a crowding issue and because of that needs some fillings and needed to see the orthodontist.  We just took Pepe and his brother AJ to the orthodontist this past week and we learned that Pepe will be getting a retainer and partial braces in the next 2-3 weeks.  It was not at all surprising but certainly unexpected at this stage of the game.  I didn't realize they did braces at such a young age - he is only 8.  But with all the photos they took and the explanation, I fully understand why this action needs to happen now.  Pepe says he is okay with it so I hope it all goes well.

Now that it is January, I am trying to finish up the year-end books for the farm.  But, we bought a new-to-us computer and that required many hours of work on my part to install all the programs we use, network the computers and printers, and make sure everything was running smoothly.  I hate how much time it takes to do all that stuff but it was necessary.  The old computer was SO. VERY. SLOW that it was frustrating, in the least.  We have now moved that one downstairs and they kids can use it for their computer games.  Works out great, actually.  And the paperwork is almost done.

And one last bit of exciting news - for me, anyway!  I bought a saxophone!  It has been a dream of mine, for at least the past 15 years, if not longer, to own a saxophone and learn to play.  I was given some inheritance money upon the death of my grandma and I wanted to do something special with some of it.  The saxophone is a used one and not one of the big 5 in brand name but I am thrilled with it anyway.  I also got a bunch of music with it so I am having fun playing.  I have never played any instrument well (I took piano as a young child and classical guitar for one year as a college student) but the saxophone is one instrument I adore and will play it for a long time. Jason even suggests taking lessons so when that man says to do it, I will.  We just need to figure out the timing on that one.

That is the past 1 1/2 months in a nut shell.  Now we are trying to establish routine again since school has started.  I am contemplating building our next kitchen cabinets, studying some of the Psalms for my personal devotions, off sugar again for a year, trying to fly with FlyLady and wanting to incorporate TaeBo back into my day.  But more on all that another time.  Today we are off to the Kitchen, Bath and Renovation Show being held in the city and I gotta get ready!  We will talk again soon!  :) 

Faux Mantel Over a Half Wall

Since we live in a bi-level house, we have a half wall that divides our living room from our entrance.  I love the open concept home but I wanted to have a wall behind my fireplace to create a mantel. I was not about to frame out a wall so I lived with a fireplace and no wall for a number of years.  This past summer a friend of mine gave me a wooden frame that may have been intended to be a glass fronted cabinet door.  However, it did not contain any glass but neither did it contain any holes for hinges or knobs either.  She said that I would come up with something to do with it and she was right. 

After a while, I realized this would be the solution to creating a faux mantel!  I do actually have a photo of the frame in the "before" state but it is on an SD card that has mysteriously disappeared!  ** Edited to add that I found the card so here is the before! **

I ordered some mirror to be cut to the correct size then got to work painting the frame.  Ever since I heard about Rustoleum's Heirloom White spray paint, I knew I had to try it somewhere and this was the perfect project.  I gave that frame a nice coat of paint and, once it was dry, sanded down the edges slightly to give it more of an antiqued look.  After a layer of clear coat, it was ready for the hardware. 

I followed the same technique I used to create my trapeze frames, using eye hooks and cable wiring and crimps.  After the eye hooks were installed, I inserted the mirror using glazier points stuck in the back.  What a neat and tidy way to hold that mirror in place.  When it came time to find the rafters that the mirror was to hang from, we ran into a little snag.  We knew that the rafters ran in a certain direction over our entrance.  What we were not aware of, however, was that right over the fireplace, the rafters ran in a different direction to accommodate the roofline, making it impossible to hang the mirror where I wanted it.  Well, difficult, not impossible. 

My dearly loved and super wonderful hunk-of-love husband crawled into the attic for me and held 2x4s in place in the exact location I wanted to hang the mirror, creating studs!  (This is not a finished attic, this is a hop-from-rafter-to-rafter-and-dig-through-the-insulation kind of attic!)  Once I installed the eye hooks in the newly formed studs, the mirror was ready to hang!  I love the new look!  I love the abundant decorating possibilities!  I love the new "wall" it creates! I now have a fireplace mantel complete with mirror!  Let the decorating begin!

As for decorating, well, I used to have 2 of those apothecary jars flanking the candles.  However, my sons thought playing frisbee was an indoor sport and the one jar was the casuality of such foolishness!  Grr.  For now, this will have to do until the Christmas decor comes out!

As usual, linking up to Sandra's Party! 

Christmas Aprons

Someone suggested to me I should sew some Christmas aprons - so I did!  I am not into the cutesy Christmas fabric choosing, instead, the beautiful classics that remain timeless.  I found some gorgeous fabric and was able to create a couple of really elegant aprons.  These are not your traditional quickly-sewn looking-a-bit-boring Christmas aprons.  These are filled with details typically seen on skirts, with the darts and pleats, but they are worthy of the beauty of the fabric and I am thrilled with the results.

This first one is a new style for me.  I call this the "Ali Apron".  I remember sketching this out many months ago and I finally made it into reality.

The box pleats at the bottom of the apron were quick to make, thanks to a little pleat tool I found at the thrift store about a year ago.  I found it again recently (my "sewing room" is a disaster!) and it makes quick work of making any type of pleats - no measuring required.

I knew I wanted to accent the apron with a large fabric flower so I did - it adds such a charming flair!

With all these details, this is most certainly not your get-down-and-dirty-in-the-kitchen kind of apron but a I-am-the-hostess-of-a-great-Christmas-party-and-I-want-to-look-great-while-keeping-clean kind of apron.

The second one I made was made in the Anne Apron style, with the pleated skirt.  This is probably my favorite type of apron to make (at least it was - with each additional apron I make, that opinion is possibly changing).  I love the elegance of it and how it actually looks more like a skirt than an apron. 

Once again, the classic Christmas colors of red, white, green and gold are so beautiful and this style of apron really showcases it.  The bolder fabric stands out while the more muted red and gold is a nice surprise under the pleats.

With the extra long tie, this apron can be tied in the front or the back.

I am going to be selling my aprons at a craft show here this weekend so we will see how it goes.  Regardless, I think I may have to buy some more Christmas fabric but I just might wait until it goes on sale in a little while!  Do you have a Christmas apron?  What kind of Christmas fabric appeals most to you?

** The very best part about sewing these aprons was that I could do the whole thing on my new-to-me 1954 Elna Supermatic sewing machine, gifted to me by my grandmother.  My new Brother sewing machine grumbles incessantly when sewing through anything thicker than 2 layers of cotton.  This machine, while sewing through 5 layers of fabric to attach the box pleats, didn't so much as hesitate.  It was a wondrous sewing experience!  I am smitten with my new machine! **

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Packing!

Only one week left to go before collection week (Nov. 21-27) here in Canada for the shoe boxes collected by Operation Christmas Child!  What a lot of fun it has been to shop and pack those boxes.  Generally, we make one box per child but this year the grandparents in our church were challenged to make one for each of their grandchildren so I am making 10 this year, 5 of our own and 5 at the request of the grandparents.  At the very end of October, we took the kids out for a night of shopping - SO MUCH FUN!  We hit up the dollar store and Walmart and then went out for supper to cap it off!

I thought I would share with you what we put into our boxes and a bit on my philosophy behind why we choose what we do and where we buy our things. 

First of all, I like to buy plastic shoe boxes but not from the dollar store.  I buy ones from Walmart or London Drugs - something that is a bit less likely to break super easy.  I own the dollar store ones for my shoes and so long as you don't use them much, they work fine.  The lids also don't tend to close well but for shoes that is just fine.  I also own the ones we bought this year for shoe boxes and I love them.  No, they are not indestructible but I find them to seal better and handle use better.  My theory is that a plastic shoebox will last much longer than the cardboard ones and can be used by the mom as a food storage container or something of the sort.  We may have Tupperware here in spades but you can guarantee that the recipients of these boxes don't.

Besides your commonly bought things like toothbrushes and soap (in a plastic bag) and washcloths, combs, hair accessories, and school supplies like markers, crayons (in a plastic bag), pencils, sharpeners, erasers, notepads, coloring book, etc., I also like to put in some clothing.  We always check out the clearance racks in Walmart or Superstore and you can find really cute shirts for about $3; less if you are watching really carefully.  I would never put a shirt in the box that I wouldn't put on my own child so I check out the style or color or message of the shirt carefully.  I don't do, "Oh, that is good enough!"  I want to honor them with great choices, not just good enough!

I love to make little bandana skirts for the girls.  Super simple to make and a new article of clothing for them.  You just take two bandanas (dollar store ones are fine), one for the front and one for the back, sew them together at the sides, make a casing for elastic, insert the elastic and you are done!  No hemming or finishing of the seams is required since you are working with bandanas that are finished on all edges.  These are fairly thin skirts but perfect for the warm weather where the recipients live.

Sunglasses are a must and the dollar store is perfect for these!

I made sure to include purses in each of the girl's boxes.  If I can't find purses, I put in cosmetic bags.  Every little girl likes to have a purse, right?  The dollar store is fine once again - I personally have a cosmetic bag from the dollar store and it has served its purpose well.  In the purses we put all the hair accessories or jewelry (the girls made beaded bracelets for them).

Some things the boys like to include in their boxes (if we can find them) are slingshots, harmonicas, marbles, hats, toy cars, a game of some sort like jacks, magnifying glass, etc.  We don't usually include socks since they are likely to wear sandals instead of shoes and socks would get really dirty if they are used at all.

This year I included some fun band aids in each box - cannot go wrong with that!  I was also able to find a really cute pair of flip flops for $1.  In the future, I will be shopping year round and watching out for sales so I can include shoes in each box.  I have already picked up extra school supplies for next year from a bargain store that was going out of business.

We also put in a little bit of hard candy for the kids.  I bought individually wrapped Jolly Ranchers and some candy necklaces and put some in each box, in a plastic bag, of course.

I do not include any Barbie-like dolls.  I find them to be expensive and I don't buy them for my own girls to play with.  I think there are better dolls out there or better alternatives like Strawberry Shortcake or My Little Pony.  That is just a personal opinion.  I do think every little boy should have a stuffed animal and every little girl needs a teddy or some sort of doll.  I will be making a couple of rag dolls this week so that my 5-9 year old girl's boxes each have a doll.

We have just about finished shopping and packing the boxes though a couple things remain like pencil sharpeners.  These I refuse to buy at the dollar store since I always find they either don't work or break easily.  I need to make a trip to an office supply store and buy a multi-pack - those seem to last longer.

Later on this week, once I have everything we need, I will be sure to show you some of the boxes and talk a bit about the letters we write and how we pray for the kids getting these boxes.

Are you participating in Operation Christmas Child this year?  What special sorts of gifts are you sure to include in the boxes to make it special?  I invite you to join in - you have one week left to do some shopping so if you haven't started, better get a move on! 

Latest Crochet Project - Puff Stitch Toque with Ear Flaps

Baby girl Ari needed a new toque for winter so I did a bit of shopping on Etsy and found a pattern that didn't use the traditional single or double crochet stitch.  I liked that it looked different.  Though it does require more time and more yarn than most other hats I have made, I love how it turned out.  It is sooo thick that her little head will never get cold, the puff stitch is lovely to look at and with the sizing, it should fit her for about 3 more years!

If you crochet and are interested in your own, you can buy the pattern at this etsy shop!