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Monday, October 5, 2009

I'd Rather Be Doing Something Else

At our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group this morning, we were talking about the tension that exists between Planet Me and Planet Mom - Planet Me being all that you were and all that you did before you had kids and Planet Mom being all that you do and all that you are now that you have kids. I never really thought about it in those ways before but I totally understand the tension part. There is great tension between wanting to do "me" things and needing to do "mom" things. Like this afternoon - the "me" part wanted to take a nap. After all, I had a fitful nights sleep thanks to the 2-year old snuggled squirming beside me for the majority of the night. (It was either have her in my bed and quiet or in her bed and screaming.) So, the "me" wanted a nap, the "mom" (or maybe "working woman"?) needed to do paperwork or clean the house. The "me" wanted to decorate for fall, the "mom" needed to think about supper or laundry or the dishes or school tomorrow. Why is it whenever I am doing something "mom" related I am constantly thinking about what it is "me" would rather be doing? And when I am doing something for "me" I am feeling guilty and thinking about what "mom" should be doing! AGGGHHH! I hate the tension. I hate always feeling like I'd rather be doing something else. How can I fully live in the moment? How can I embrace the moment? How do you handle the tension?

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